I was a few days shy of entering Peru the same day this beautiful life entered the world for the first time. It took him three months to get to us, and a rocky start in life. But once he reached our gates the love he had missed out on was taken care of plus much more than he could imagine, if a 3 month old can imagine being loved.
I have taken care of many babies in my life, but none quite like this. I started babysitting when I was 11 or 12 for the neighbors across the cul-de-sac in North Carolina. But even before that at the family reunions I took care of my little cousin Hannah, looking at the cows while the old folk played dominoes. In Georgetown I babysat for the Deringers, and saw those kids grow up over 10 years, I knew the youngest 2 as babies. However, in all those situations, I came over we played, mom and dad came home, and then I walked back to my house down or across the street. But here I was the one who came home and the baby screeched with elation reaching for me, and then I send the other person walking home.
It was a completely different situation than I had ever been accustomed to. When I was tired out I could look at the clock and find something to do for the last 20 minutes, because there is no true end to the mom shift. And it is harder when they are babies and you are all by yourself. I have gained a greater respect for single mothers, or people like my mom who when their husband was deployed was left with three young children or two kids under the age of 2. It isn't easy. But amazingly enough even though you go for months without sleeping through the night, and even when they do sleep till the morning your sleep is forever altered lightly sleeping in case your baby needs you and if you are dead asleep how will you hear him? God provides. Somehow I am still alive, and can function on a day to day basis.
But taking care of a baby is hard work, you can't just let them alone to go play outside with his brothers or friends, they are completely and ever dependent on you. They need you when they want to play, they need you when they want food, they need you when they poop (cause no one wants to sit in poop for have it squirt up your back), they need you when they want to sleep, they need you when they fall and bonk their heads, they need your stability to learn how to balance themselves, they need your encouragement to develop and begin to take the steps to become more independent, they just need you all the time.
Taking care of a baby is much like the way the Lord takes care of us, we are completely and ever dependent upon him. We need him when we want to eat- because if He isn't there who is feeding us the word? We need Him when we need rest, and we can find it in His presence. We need Him when we fall and bonk our heads, because it is never easy getting back up after humiliating yourself, and after a hard fall what more could you want than open arms of love and healing. When we learn to walk in this world through all the trials and things in our way, God is the one whose hand is clinched within our small one holding on or we loose our balance and revert back to crawling. Basically, the well known fact is that we need God all the time.
God has been reminding me of that lately, that I need him all the time. If I go a day without seeking Him, then I go a day seeking in the wrong direction which can throw me off for days. Then when I decide I really want to walk again instead of crawling he is always there to lift me back up and send me on my way. I am going to need to hold on to Him tightly this coming week, because I will be transitioning to the new ministry upon the return of Wendy and Auden on Wednesday. It is going to be very difficult to leave the kids whom I have spent the last 8 months with, I will be able to visit them on weekends, but not seeing them everyday is going to hurt. I am going to need to hold on. I spoke on the phone with Wendy last night and she was talking about so many things that basically they land in Peru and we are hitting the ground running and going after this project and it is going to be wild and crazy and again I am going to need to hold on.
So, if you could keep me in your prayers this week and the next as I transition as God has lead, but without letting my heart hurt or my mind getting lost in all of the other things going on, but that I remain focused in His purpose and don't revert back to crawling cause I am going to need to be able to run, and run fast.
(I created an album with all the pictures of the baby that I have. It has been fun to help him reach milestones, I plan on making him a book that he can take with him when he gets adopted, so he can remember his beginning and his parents don't miss out on those firsts. you can click here, or copy and paste to view it http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2520669&id=29627113&l=82fd05c43b )